Stanford Report, June 14, 2005
‘You’ve got to find what you love,’ Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

夕陽無限好 from 2006 ~ 2010

17/3/2011　阮佩儀　壹周刊1097期

退稅上限六千，你會怎麼花？

買iPad？補貼新車首次登記稅？

更多人發動捐給鮮魚行。

做校長做到他那樣，可算城中罕有。

龔如心官司還沒完結，華懋私下籌款給他。教署殺校，官員暗自掏錢支持他……

「嘩，呢尐唔講得o架。」

能公開的，是個個叫他校長爸爸。

校長，仁愛。爸爸，慈愛。情愛？

「太太常投訴，咁鍾意學校，搬埋張床返鮮魚行（目訓）啦。」

現在逢星期二晚，陪太太學跳社交舞。

「我內柔、外剛。」

骨頭硬，跳了一年多，仍然是初班。

「不放棄，因為辦學、持家，也如跳舞，步步為營。」

他是五十六歲的鮮魚行校長梁紀昌。

他自比苦瓜，貧窮長大，同學課餘溜冰、游泳，他最多行山，「因為不用伴，更重要是不用花費。」但苦盡甘來，這經歷有助他今日幫助相同遭遇的。昔日，他有姑媽幫，仍要輟學。今日，學校有一半學生沒錢買早餐，「靠一個人，做不了太多。」他讓傳媒採訪，傳媒報導完，李嘉誠、龔中心、黎瑞恩……紛紛捐錢。

校長室的門，從來不關上。

忽然有個家長，氣急敗壞趕來－－

「校長，江湖救急。」

有一句沒一句的，掏出「無得撈啦」摺機做抵押。

手電和他的誠信，一樣不值分文。拿了六百元，即逃之夭夭。

「我早知有問題，但他兒子在這裡讀六年班。

「窮途末路，受苦的還不是孩子。」

絕境是怎樣，梁紀昌最了解。

一九六八年中一，父親肝硬化返天國。

「所謂親戚，給予的安慰是：昌仔，別讀書了，出來做事，幫手持家……

「我很反感，不支持、沒鼓勵，還一盆冷水潑過來。」

梁紀昌有一妹三弟，有個姑媽在新加坡。

「她是父親的親生姐姐，被賣掉去異鄉。」

姑媽買樓給他們，每月又送來一百斤米。

靠着姑媽支持，一家從紅磡搬去土瓜灣美景樓。

「六個人擠在三百呎，總算是有個安樂窩。」

聖斯德望小學畢業，考入聖本篤。

「窮人走的冤枉路特別多。」

家裡沒明燈。

「媽媽不知道，私立小學是沒機會參加升中試的，初中又要捱貴學費。」

靠自己摸索，中三入協同。

「專挑新校，協同當時新開，要招攬學生。」

同學有李居明。

「佢原名李康華，那時有個中史老師叫陳松齡，又名夫子，引導我們鑽研唐滌生的詞，所以，今日李居明，在支持粵劇。」

同學有閒情研究詩詞歌賦，梁紀昌課餘去打地蠟。

「爸爸打蠟，我接他的生意做。」

七二年會考，二B四D。

「大角咀銘基收我唸預科，也要輟學。」

全家等著開飯，他要幫手搵食。

日間清潔打蠟，夜晚在「東南」工專修讀電子。砌座膽機出來，是他最大貢獻。

「家裡小得無處放，學的沒用武之地，簡直是蹉跎歲月。」

大弟弟當年唸小六，他叫弟弟接手打蠟，自己去培正唸預科。

「中文中學，一年便可以考中大。」

不想耽誤弟弟學業，可惜，壓力愈大，失望愈大。

「我叻歷史，不知怎的，中史A，西史只得E。」

老師鼓勵查卷。

「查卷要錢，錢從何來？」

入不了中大，入葛量洪。

「又叫弟弟多給我兩年時間。」

七六年師範畢業，接棒持家，全力支持弟弟到利瑪竇進修。

「佢底子太差，成績追不上。」

做大哥的，內疚至今。

「人生沒完美，窮人的遺憾，也特別的多。」

一樓一
那時建築業訓練局剛成立，梁紀昌帶弟弟考大偈，預計做大偈可進修。弟弟其後進身技術員，做過海洋公園。

「佢現在和黃。經濟差，和黃裁員，佢因為考到高級文憑，得以留下。可惜無論怎發力，也考不到大專資格。」

今日，他照顧姪仔姪女。

長兄為父，梁紀昌習慣承擔。

鮮魚行兩度列入殺校名單（○四和○七年），梁紀昌拼命保著老師飯碗。

「我油塘的物業，早早供滿。八二年加入政府，當年制度，離職後直到五十五歲，都可享有長俸、退休金。我生活無憂，但老師要開飯。」

梁紀昌八二年入教署做輔導主任，後轉發展主任。

「很清楚做官的想法，收生不足，一定是校長無能，教師偷懶。

「老師被標籤，將來難搵工。」

回想兒時沒飯開，有次到佐敦平安大廈做清潔打蠟，沒錢買工具，一切靠雙手。

「廁所塞了，我徒手挖屎通渠。

「尊嚴被踐踏，至今忘不了。

「所以今日，我沒炒過一個老師，開飯最要緊。」

○二年捨棄鐵飯碗，只因睇唔上教改。

教育局推行教改，請麥當勞的要員分享心得。

「商人想法是，有指標依從，就可以倒模。

「麥當勞有四十個工序，依足便製造到一式一樣的漢堡包。

「官員忘記了，人是獨立個體。」

訪問期間，有個家長晚上七時送小孩回校，說一個多小時後接回。

「莫名奇妙？這家長做『一樓一』，孩子這樣成長，成績可以怎樣。」

又有家長，右手交孩子，左手遞上出世紙、入學證、身份證……中港婚姻，她丈夫另有家室，家長準備尋死。

「孩子日日見著這些，又豈能專心讀書？」

學生的學業成績，跟家庭收入掛鉤。

「聖保羅男女0既學生家長收入，跟我學校的，相差至少一百倍，學生的學業差距，也就相差至少一百倍。」

梁紀昌一個舊同事，女拔萃畢業。

「佢小學已經中、英、數、普，各有一個補習老師，還沒算鋼琴、芭蕾舞。

「起始點不同，要追又談何容易？」

說罷，有個舊生致電，要梁紀昌擔保遊學瑞典。女生的父親虐妻，母親寧願到街邊賣魚蛋，堅持帶兩個女兒離家，今日，女兒上中大，貸款讀書、遊學，要人擔保。

女生不守承諾，梁紀昌動輒揹十萬多元債項。仍然支持，因為他想起妹妹。

梁紀昌的妹妹梁業萍，只小學畢業。

「窮人的女兒早當災。我姑媽被賣去新加坡，我妹妹只能讀到小學。老人家認為，女兒早晚嫁人，不如儘早送出去。」

說著，有個婆婆入來。

七十五歲的陳婆婆肺鈣化，每行一條樓梯，要休息十分鐘，梁紀昌的辦公室在三樓，她苦撐半個多小時，只為叫校長提醒女生，一定要讀書，陳婆婆因為沒知識，遭丈夫拋棄。

「我妹妹的感情，也沒有著落。」

妹妹小學畢業去車衣，八九民運，車衣式微，到歐洲流浪三個多月，天天和外國人打交道。

回港後，申請半島酒店做執房，半島要求中五程度，破例獲聘，只因說得一口流利英語。

拿了傑出員工，卻礙於學歷，升不了職。

「這個社會，極嚴厲懲罰沒學歷的人。」

過三關
梁紀昌的獨生女兒凱琪，小學唸華德，小四轉天神嘉諾撒，中學唸聖瑪利。

「美國做過很大型的研究，拉丁家庭職位低，收入差，但家庭和諧，小朋友有安全感的，長大後成就也很高。

「反之，父母教育水平高，職業又高尚，但常常嘈交、嗌離婚，小孩或會吸毒，自暴自棄。」

梁紀昌在公開大學進修學位課程，工餘和太太看課外書。

「女兒耳濡目染，我不擔心她將來。」

女兒會考二B四C，在帝國大學唸化學和商業碩士。

○八年畢業，正值金融海嘯，仍獲英國公司聘用。

「女兒小時候，我常陪她看《阿信》，提醒她人生不一定順利，更會俾人屈。大方向正確，早晚有回報。」

女兒現在英國任核數師。

「我教女，只給大方向，功課要做晒，考試要合格，其他我放手。」

女兒小時候住田心邨，自己乘85B巴士放學。

「養兒育女，最緊要訓練獨立。十二歲以前，兒女屬於父母，十二歲後屬於朋友，兒女拍拖了，就屬於她愛人。」

女兒現年二十七歲，已有穩定伴侶，年多才回港一次。

「說不失落是假的。」

他借學校，重溫昔日和女兒的快樂時光。鮮魚行有二百零五個學生－－

「陸麗明、成思穎、張卓琪、陳裕寶……」

梁紀昌隨口叫出一百九十個。

在《星島》、《親子綠洲》寫專欄，稿費捐去「校長基金」，全為資助學生。

苗圃行動在尖沙咀萬麗酒店搞自助餐，讓中港學生有交流。

「對方有六、七十人，我資助鮮魚行二十個學生。」

家長一聽是酒店，不敢踏足，揚言那個世界跟自己太遙遠。

「梁紀昌管接管送，一力承擔。」

學生不懂使用刀叉，刀尖刺中牛扒，張口就吃，嚇得周梁淑怡即場教授餐桌禮儀。

「學生見識少，失禮事多。」

「校長基金」支持他們坐麗星郵輪，酒店吃餐，大學交流等。

「讓他們開眼界，有個追求目標。」

小三女生過度活躍，輕易跟同學爭執，眼淚一把鼻涕一把，衝入校長室，要梁紀昌主持公道。梁紀昌陪她看法庭電視，指導她深呼吸，以律師口吻細說事情始末，她由此學習控制情緒。

這麼一搞，已近黃昏。

又來個超齡唸小三的，父母離異，母親執垃圾為生，往年舅父從國內送上月餅、小禮品，卻車禍離世，母親又確診患乳癌。

梁紀昌教女生祈禱，女生一生沒見過、也沒錢買聖經，梁紀昌教她每晚背十個英文生字當祈禱。

一輪安撫，又是入夜。每晚回家，披星戴月。

梁紀昌的太太譚惠英，黃笏南中學畢業後入師範，二人在教職員活動結識。太太○七年吃肥雞餐退休，梁紀昌卻肩負鮮魚行校長一職。

「九九年，我和太太去西藏，看到藏傳佛教輪迴圖，那裡有個地獄島，僧人說，是給誤人子弟的。」

當年教書，只為兩餐。

「在教署當督學，名校校長敬我萬分。我問自己，是自己有料抑或招牌夠照？」

鮮魚行經歷兩次殺校，仍然屹立不倒。

「應該不用下地獄。」

教署規定，六十歲退休。

「我屬羊，今年五十六。」

梁紀昌媽媽，今年八十三。

「似媽媽的話，退休後至少有二十三年陪太太。」

他說人生有三大不幸：少年得志、中年頹廢、年老入花叢。

「我一生有很多難關，願有智慧過三關，老來便可陪太太環遊世界。」

一輛車，向前駛動，向後駛動，向左前／後方駛動，向右前／後方駛動，都是有方向的。

要不是，其實就是停止了。

人的心境，都一樣。

要不就追求快樂，為得到滿足而快樂。

亦可選擇追求不快樂，為得到痛苦而滿足。

要得到快樂，可以追逐名利權力，貪圖色慾，貪痴各適其適。

亦可以助天下世人快樂而安心，又或者可以見天下萬物毀滅，世人受苦受難而狂喜。

總是有個方向。

就如看破一切紅塵虛空，歸於我佛者，都是有個方向。

要不是就連一切佛法都可以不重要，無我與四大皆空之後就只剩一個臭皮囊與一個empty mind，無悲無喜無情緒無人無物無親無朋無反應。這就是一輛停止不動的車。

胡思到這裡，想起了Watchmen中Dr. Manhattan離開了地球，呆坐於火星之狀態… …

其實是蠻有共鳴的。

All conditional things will change.

戴勝益大家可能很多人不知道他是誰，但只要提到王品牛排、陶板屋、西堤牛排、聚北海昆布鍋、夏慕尼、原燒……這些知名的餐飲名店，可能就會無人不知、無人不曉。

育有一兒一女的王品集團董事長戴勝益，跟一般的企業家老爸很不一樣。其他企業家無不處心積慮安排子女在家族企業接班，但是，戴勝益卻堅決不讓子女進入他的餐飲王國，不要說是「接班」了，連去任何一個事業體「上班」都不行。

王品是全台最大餐飲連鎖集團，除了王品牛排以外，旗下事業體還包括陶板屋、夏慕尼、西堤牛排、原燒、聚北海道昆布鍋等 多個品牌，兩岸店數逾百家，年營業額高達七十多億。

他不只擋了他們的「前途」，甚至還斷了他們的「財路」。明年（民國100）王品股票即將掛牌上市，戴勝益瀟灑宣布要捐出個人八○％的財產做公益，只各留五％給兒女，而且還設下三十五歲才能動用的限制條款。

他並不打算讓王品變成一個家族企業；他的孩子，只是「戴勝益的兒子女兒」，絕對不會是「王品集團的少東、公主」。

王品這座江山是他自己白手起家打下來的，如果孩子們也想要一座大好江山，那麼，不好意思，請自己努力。

Q你自己是一個什麼樣的父親？教養哲學是什麼？

A我很民主，對小孩幾乎是寬容到極點，對我來說 ，小孩子只要不犯法，做什麼都可以。

我的教養觀跟一般家長不大一樣。很多家長逼著小孩補習、做功課、學很多才藝，但我觀察，很多家長要孩子學東西，只是為了滿足自己小時候的遺憾；而很多被硬逼著學這學那的小孩，長大以後的表現反而比較平庸。為什麼呢？因為他忙著應付父母的期望，根本沒有空閒去發掘自己真正的興趣。

我的小孩一開始都沒學才藝，我也不讓他們補習，等到他們發現自己的興趣時，他會自己來說。像我女兒是在小五那年，才跑來跟我說她想學鋼琴、長笛；我兒子則是在高中時，發覺自己對電腦很有興趣，才開始不斷深入鑽研。我對孩子的課業只有一個要求：只要能夠如期畢業就好，不管排第幾名，我都可以接受。

上課，真的是最重要的事嗎？我小學六年都拿全勤獎，這張獎 狀就像是「貞節牌坊」一樣，為了得到它，你就不能隨便「改嫁」。於是在小學六年中，我錯過了太多重要的事：三年級時，我小阿姨結婚，我沒參加；我阿公、阿嬤過世，我沒去送；我家附近做醮，那是六十年一次的大拜拜，可以想像那是多麼熱鬧的場面，但我也未能恭逢其盛……這些事後回想會讓人遺憾萬分的事，六年來大概有十幾件，而我卻為了那一紙無聊的「貞節牌坊」，全都錯過了，這值得嗎？

所以我很鼓勵小孩請假，只要家裡有需要家族成員參與的事：旅遊、聚餐……沒問題，儘量請假；就連公司開股東會，他們也可以請假旁聽；甚至只要他們感覺今天很想去爬爬山，也可以請假。他們兩個在班上功課沒拿第一名，但請假次數都是第一名，請到最後，老師還打電話問我：「 戴 先生，你是存心跟學校作對 嗎？」其實我不是要跟學校作對，只是覺得應該要把時間花在真正有價值的地方。

我公司現在也是這樣辦，公司員工只要有重要事情，什麼老婆生孩子、小孩畢業典禮、母姊會，都可以優先請假，人生的關鍵時刻，絕不可缺席。

Q你有刻意幫子女規劃或引導他們未來的生涯嗎？

A我給他們的刻意規劃就是：徹底斷絕他們的後路。早在十幾年前，王品就訂下了「非親條款」，所有幹部的親人都不得進王品工作。我連他們去王品旗下事業打工都不准。拜託！哪個店長敢使喚董事長的兒女啊？那打工有什麼意義？還壞了店裡的規矩。

前不久，我又決定把八○％的個人財產捐出去做公益，僅留給他們各五％，而且要到三十五歲以後才能動用。這下徹底斷絕了他們繼承家產的退路，這樣才能逼出他們的潛力 ！不然他們就會覺得自己橫豎有靠山，不用努力也不用掙扎，甚至不用去「想像」自己以後要做什麼，反正只要回去當王品的繼承人，坐著吃、躺著吃，甚至當植物人都可以活下去，幹嘛還奮鬥？

Q你這種「斷絕小孩後路」的做法，跟你個人的人生經驗有關係嗎？

A我先講一個故事。我小時候家裡養了一隻雞，但我媽從不餵牠，每天早上把牠從雞舍放出來，牠就「咯咯咯」叫著、抖擻羽毛跑到後山去覓食。因為運動足夠，牠的肌肉結實、雞冠鮮紅、羽毛有光澤。後來，我媽把這隻雞關進穀倉，從此那隻雞每天只要吃飽睡、睡飽吃就好，但是牠反而變得垂頭喪氣，不再活蹦亂跳，沒多久就生病死了。

你覺得，小孩做穀倉雞，還是做放山雞好？如果小孩變成穀倉雞，那不是小孩的錯，是父母的錯。

我幼時家 裡很窮，但國中以後，我爸的製帽事業逐漸上軌道，家境變得很好，偏偏我爸又沒「斷絕我的後路」，於是我從一隻放山雞，變成穀倉雞。我念台大中文，中文系的學生出路比較窄，班上同學都很有危機意識，為了前途轉系、輔修什麼的，只有我一路混到底。反正我畢業後有三勝製帽可以待啊，怕什麼？我一直到三十九歲孑然一身離開家族企業，另起爐灶創業，才開始發揮自己的潛力，積極求生存，從穀倉雞又變成野外的放山雞。雖然已經是一隻「老雞」，但那時候我才真正充滿企圖心。

我之前也掙扎過，要不要捨棄家業自立門戶，後來想到洛夫的詩：「如果你迷戀厚實的屋頂，就會失去浩瀚的繁星。」

而我，不想要失去浩瀚的繁星。

我的體會是：一定要讓小孩走投無路，他們才會闖出屬於他們的生存之 道。每次看到媒體上企業後代跑趴、泡夜店、玩名牌的新聞，我都很不以為然。我覺得這是未富先貴，這種光鮮亮麗的日子過慣了，以後怎麼可能任勞任怨、苦幹實幹？我不要我的小孩不知人間疾苦，而要讓小孩知道人間疾苦的方法，就是先讓他們過得很疾苦。

Q你怎麼讓他們「了解人間疾苦」？

A我有很多朋友都把小孩送去念私立的貴族學校，由司機開著黑頭大轎車接送上下課，同學的爸媽都是有頭有臉的人物。但我的孩子國中以前，都念最普通的公立學校。我女兒國中時，坐她附近的同學，有爸爸當水電工的、媽媽在菜市場賣滷味的，也有同學下課後必須去打工貼補家用。我要我小孩接觸的社會是庶民社會，而不是上流社會，我希望他們了解，那才是大多數人真實的人生。

我對孩子很寬容，很少給 他們訂規矩，但我不會讓他們過得太舒服。我兒子女兒一直到高中，每個月零用錢都只有一千塊，他們如果遭遇什麼困難，通常我也是袖手旁觀。我兒子以前曾跟同學集資了一千美元，想在網路上買電腦，賣方遠在印度。我心想，這八九不離十是個騙局，但我沒說破，眼睜睜看他把錢匯出去被騙，之後也沒幫他善後，他就自己變賣身邊的東西籌錢還給同學。我就是要讓他經歷過慘痛的教訓，他才會知道什麼叫做「陷阱」，這是一門寶貴的功課。

他們兄妹倆出國念書，我事先都沒協助他們申請學校、安排住所；我唯一做的事情就是送他們去機場，給他們一張「留學生活須知」，之後就讓他們「自生自滅」。我女兒到了紐約以後，自己查資料，跟七所學校交涉，爭取面試機會。雖然英文不太通，但憑著筆談、口談、比手 畫腳，竟也讓她弄到一所學校念。解決問題本來就是一種學習，若我什麼都幫他們弄好，甚至還親自帶他們過去，那他們要學什麼？

我告訴他們，出國讀書的目的有四項：文憑、語言、國際觀，以及獨立解決問題的能力。我不要求他們念什麼名校，只要是教育部承認的學校就好，功課也只要「能畢業」就好，所以，我叫他們不要整天待在圖書館，要擴大視野，多體驗文化、多結交形形色色的朋友，深入當地人的家庭，這些都比功課還要重要。

Q你的孩子遇到困難，難道都不會跟你求救嗎？

A我很少幫他們收拾殘局，他們早已「習慣」，所以很少求救，因為求救也不大有用。我兒子當兵時在官田新兵訓練營服役，除了要煮飯、整理靶場，晚上還要站衛兵，很操。他常傳簡訊跟我訴苦，說幾乎沒有時間睡覺， 累得快瘋掉，「爸爸不是很有辦法嗎？怎麼不想辦法讓我調單位？」

我一直都不理他，只是勉勵他要忍耐、這是濃縮的學習，直到他退伍前三個月，我才去找他的指揮官。指揮官一看到我的名片，肅然起敬問我：「有何貴幹？」我說：「貴幹是沒有啦，只是聽說我兒子快被你操死了。我是來感謝你的，當兵就是要操才好，如果你這裡很涼，我就想盡辦法把他調走了。」

當天晚上，指揮官找來官田地區的鄉紳辦桌歡迎我。之後就把我兒子調到軍官室修電腦，不用戴鋼盔、打綁腿，還有自己的寢室，讓他最後的當兵生活過得比較爽，不過也只剩三個月了。

我之所以退伍前三個月才去「關說」，是為了讓兒子覺得，這個老爸其實有在關心他，既然「訓練效果」已經達到了，我也不好做得太「趕盡殺絕」啊，哈哈 哈。

Q你覺得你的孩子跟一般養尊處優的企業二代有何不同？

A他們真的比較有憂患意識，我兒子早在高中時，就已經開始用一種「如喪考妣」的態度來摸索自己的人生。爸爸這樣「無情無義」，以後真的要靠自己，不緊張點怎麼行？他對電腦很有興趣，高中畢業時，就辛辛苦苦去考了一張 CCIE（Cisco Certified Internetwork Expert）證照。這張證照很難考，他年僅十九歲就考上，是考上這張證照最年輕的華人。我問他：「你考這張證照幹嘛？」他回答：「啊你都斷我後路了，我要自己想辦法啊！」

我兒子女兒現在在紐約讀書，每一次我去看他們，他們都跟我講很多未來想做的計畫。他們這麼有想法，都是因為我斷他們後路，他們得自力救濟啊。

他們對物質缺乏的容忍度也比較高。我去年寒假去紐約看他們，我女兒還是拎著她在逢甲夜市買的、一只不到台幣五百元的大包包。她敢在紐約這個時尚大都會，這麼理直氣壯、毫不自卑的拿著這個夜市包包，有這種精神，我以她為榮。

我兒子跟他女朋友在紐約登記結婚，連捧花都自己紮。因為美國新娘捧花很貴，一束要一百五十美元，自己做成本才七十幾元。登記當天，我看其他人都 穿著豪華的燕尾服，只有他穿著一件四十美元的H＆M西裝，裡頭搭一件圓領的素色上衣。因為沒有領帶，他拿了一支麥克筆現場在衣服上「畫」了條領帶，旁觀者看了都用力幫他鼓掌，我也覺得我這兒子真有創意！這個婚禮，保證他一生難忘。

今年寒假他們回來，我把他們叫過來，宣布我的財產處置計畫。他們其實可以跟我「張」（台語，耍賴）一下，或至少討價還價、看可不可以提高比例，畢竟法律上他們本來可以各得我一半財產，但他們都不假思索就答應了。

因為他們知道，我是愛他們才這麼做的。他們明白，爸爸不給他們財富、不讓他們進公司，都是為他們好。

畢竟，要有血有汗有淚的人生，才是精采的真人生啊！

戴勝益給兒女的「留學須知」
(1) 順利完成學業拿到文憑（成績毋需太好，不能整天待在圖書館）。
(2) 英文要學到非常好，說、聽、寫自如（CNN懂 90％以上）。
(3) 交很多外國朋友（各行業各年齡層均有）。
(4) 遊遍全美國各州、各大城、各景點。
(5) 看遍 N.Y. 的所有歌劇、舞台劇、電影、博物館、美術館。
(6) 每日步行10,000步以上，養成每日運動的習慣。
(7) 在「安全保障」與「固定預算費用」下，極力擴大見聞與視野，千萬不要儲蓄。
(8) 深入當地一般人的生活領域。
(9) 開始練習理財，培養「讓每分錢發揮最大效益的本事」。
(10) 培育第一流的公關技巧（讓大家願意接受你、信賴你、協助你）。
(11) 需熟讀《Taiwan Today 》，以及寄去的經濟資訊剪報，不能與台灣的經濟圈脫節。
(12) 四年內務必完成以上事項，回台創業。

《帶著禪心去上班》
作者：聖嚴法師

如何建立團隊中和諧的關係？